It is now just two days off three weeks since I had my last

cigarette.

I don't know how I have done this, there hasn't been a moment

in any one day that I haven't wanted to light up, cigarettes have

been my life line for as long as I can remember.

I would light up after every meal, after every cup of tea, when I

was on the phone, as soon as I got into my car,

When I went to bed when I woke up, the only time T didn't

smoke was when I was in the street.

It has been very hard but some how I have still resisted I can't

even say why I have resisted it isn't will power and I still can't

say I have given up, I cannot admit to my self that I have given

up because I don't know if I have yet.

But I do know that there are people out there waiting for me to

fail and waiting to say oh I knew she wouldn't do it and of

course they may be right. I have urged my grandchildren not to

start smoking because it is the easiest thing in the world to light

up a cigarette.

But oh how you suffer when you stop, and I really wouldn't

want them to suffer the way I have in the last three weeks, 1

could just reach over now and pick up a cigarette and light it up,

whether I do or not is a different matter, but this is one of the

hardest thing I have ever tried to do.

                                              by Rita Joel