Children's Stories
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Jake, Grandad and the Dragon
Jake, Grandad and the Dragon
Once upon a time . . .
'Hold it Grandad,' said Jake. 'Is this a fairy story, I'm not six you
know?' 'I know you're not, but I'm telling you this so you can, in turn,
tell your sisters. And no it's not a fairy story.' 'That's alright
then,' said Jake. 'You can carry on!'
Once upon a time, near a town not very far away from Stockport, there
lived a dragon named Cedric. Cedric was not a happy dragon, and the
reason was, he was lonely. The trouble being, every time he tried to say
'hello, how are you today,' he breathed fire and smoke. Everyone just
ran off. 'Do all dragons breathe fire,' asked Jake? 'I don't know,
but this one did. I think it's very much a dragon thing.' Anyway,
one day the Mayor's daughter disappeared. It wasn't the first time she'd
wandered off so no one was worried at first, until a travelling wimple
salesman mentioned he'd seen her with the dragon. Now the townsfolk were
very proud of their dragon, not many towns had one, but this was
different. They went off to tell the Mayor.
The Mayor was in his counting house, counting his money. You had to be
very rich to have a house just to count money in, even in those days.
'My Dad's got a counting house,' said Jake. 'No he hasn't, it's a garden
shed. He keeps tools in it and rubbish your Mother doesn't want in the
house.' 'Could be a counting house,' muttered Jake. After hearing
the news the Mayor sat down to think. You don't get to be rich enough to
have a counting house without being able to think, and the Mayor's
counting house was a very large one. It needed to be. He owned most of
the businesses and property around the town. After a while he came up
with a cunning plan.
The town not only had a dragon it also had a knight in shining armour.
Well not exactly shining, because Sir Daniel wasn't really into that
sort of thing. He was more of a knight in rusty armour and the Mayor's
plan was this. He wasn't interested in the fate of his daughter because
she was a major expense. And if you ever have a teenage daughter you'll
know what the word expense means, and why teenagers spell it in
capitals. No, he was worried by public opinion, and concerned about the
fate of the dragon. The dragon was a tourist attraction and he didn't
want anything serious to happen to it. 'Why do knights have to have
shining armour,' asked Jake, 'couldn't they just have a matt finish? It
would save an awful lot of time polishing.' 'Tradition! Just let me get
on with the story.' He would seek out the knight and offer him his
daughter's hand in marriage. That way he was in a win win situation. If
the dragon prevailed he would save face with the townsfolk for trying.
If, an unlikely event, Sir Daniel won he'd offload an expensive
daughter. It was with a song in his heart that he went to visit the
young knight.
Daniel was on his allotment lifting potatoes when the Mayor arrived.
'Good morning Your Honour,' he said. 'If you've come about the rent for
my smallholding, I've a bit of a cash flow problem at the moment. I can
pay you in spuds.' 'No it isn't that,' replied the Mayor. 'I need
someone to go out and slay the dragon. So naturally I came to you.'
'Well, I've had a bit of a cold and the vegetables need bringing in,'
muttered the knight. Trying to think on his feet. 'The dragon's
kidnapped my daughter Faye, and of course, I'll be offering her hand in
marriage to whoever rescues her.' This rocked Sir Daniel back on his
heels, because he worshipped the Mayor's daughter Faye. From afar of
course. 'Why from afar,' asked Jake? 'It's another knightly
tradition,' replied his Grandad. 'What a bunch of losers', thought Jake.
'I'll have to polish my armour, it's got a bit rusty, and then there's
my sword to sharpen. I've been using it to poke the fire. And I'll need
to get my shield from the garden. I've been growing watercress on it.
Will this afternoon be OK?' The Mayor went back to his favourite hobby
of counting his money satisfied that his plan was beginning to take
shape.
Meanwhile, back in Cedric's cave, Faye and the dragon were having tea
and cakes. 'These are excellent cakes,' commented Faye. 'Did you make
them yourself?' 'I have to,' replied Cedric. 'If I go to town to shop
everyone runs away.' 'I suppose it's because of your fiery breath,'
mused Faye. 'Don't worry we can do something about it. In the meantime
here's a mint to suck. In fact, take the packet. I think the answer is
in controlling your stomach muscles. When you can do that you'll be able
to breathe fire at will. You'll still be able to brew tea and bake but
you can talk to people without them being afraid. You never need be
lonely again.' So Cedric spent the rest of the morning doing breathing
exercises, while Faye drank tea and ate cakes. 'Isn't it about time
Sir Daniel arrived to kill him,' asked Jake? 'Sir D's going to get a bit
of a shock isn't he!'
Just as Faye was telling Cedric how well he had done and how proud she
was of him, from outside the cave there came the clash of rusty sword on
rusty shield and a voice yelled. 'Come hither foul beast and be slain,
and release the fair maid Faye. Or should that be the other way round?'
'Just my luck,' said Cedric. 'It's a knight errant on a fair maid rescue
quest. I'll have to kill him and then no one will speak to me. Not even
if I can control the fire.' 'Don't worry,' Faye reassured him. 'I can
sort this. It's only Sir Daniel, he worships me from afar. When it's
time I'm going to marry him, but he doesn't know this yet.' 'Hang
about,' said Jake. 'She knows all about the worshipping from afar thing.
How does she know that?' 'She's a woman. She can multi-task,' replied
his Grandad. Faye went outside to face the knight, who was rather
embarrassed he had not been able to prove how brave he was. 'Do come in
and have some tea and cakes. Cedric's just put the kettle on again.'
Daniel followed her into the cave and, muttering an apology to Cedric,
sat down with a cup of tea and a cake, while Faye explained what had
been happening.
'So everything's fine now,' she said, 'we can all go back to town. I
have a plan.' 'It's not fine,' groaned a worried Daniel. 'Part of the
deal with your father was that when I slay the dragon I win your hand in
marriage. Now he won't let me win a toenail, let alone a complete hand.'
The hand in marriage was part of my plan too, thought Faye. What she
said was: 'Do you want to marry me?' 'Of course,' replied Sir Daniel. 'I
worship you from afar!' 'What a wimp,' thought Jake. 'If he was alive
today he'd be on Strictly Come Dancing, probably wearing a pink shirt.'
'Then I accept,' replied Faye and explained what her plan was, or at
least that part of it that hadn't concerned a proposal of marriage.
'What we'll do,' she said, 'is return to town and start up business
using Cedric's peculiar talents. I thought first of all a bakers. You,
Daniel, can grow the raw materials. Cedric can do the baking and I'll
handle the business end. Then after a while we can try charcoal burning.
There should be a good market for charcoal.' 'Won't your father be
upset,' asked Daniel. 'He controls most of the businesses around town,
he'll not be happy about this?' 'I'll handle my father,' said Faye. So
the three of them picked their way back to town. Each with their own
separate thoughts.
The Mayor was still in his counting house when he heard the townsfolk
cheering. 'Oh no,' he said to himself. 'The young fool has killed the
dragon. That means a big dip in tourist income.' But when he went to see
what had happened he saw the three figures approaching, happily
conversing. 'Hello father,' greeted Faye. 'Daniel has reasoned with the
dragon and also cured his habit of breathing fire. I hope this qualifies
him for my hand in marriage?' The Mayor pretended to think, but in fact
this was turning out better than he had planned. The dragon was still
around and he was getting rid of an expensive teenager. 'What does
she spend all the money she gets from her father on,' inquired Jake?
'Nothing,' replied Grandad. 'She gives it back to the townspeople after
her father has overcharged them. She is a very compassionate girl.'
'Of course he can marry you. He must be a very brave young man,' said
the Mayor, tongue in cheek, giving no indication why he thought Daniel
brave. 'Good, I'll need a dowry. First you can sign over the town bakery
and then there's Daniel's smallholding and some extra land to grow wheat
on, and finally the large woodland to the south of town. I'll let you
know if I can think of anything else before the marriage deeds are
signed.' 'Perhaps,' said her father, doing a quick double think. 'Daniel
isn't the right man for you after all. Not really a man of the world,
not able to keep you in the manner to which you've become accustomed.'
'Of course,' Faye replied, 'there's always Sir Jeffrey in Stockport.
He's older and a man of the world, but I think he'll ask for a much
larger dowry.' The Mayor knew when he was beaten. 'If you're taking over
the bakery you can do the catering,' was his final comment. The
townspeople all cheered.
So the young couple were married and Faye became Lady Faye. Cedric left
his cave and went to live over the bakery, where he grew very friendly
with the existing staff. After all, he got them a pay rise. Everyone
lived happily ever after. Well almost everyone. The Mayor was a bit
miffed that he hadn't seen the money making potential of Cedric's unique
gift. But then he'd unburdened himself of an expensive daughter and the
money was still in the family. He began to whistle as he counted his
coins.
'Not bad,' said Jake, 'but I think I'll put in a few battles and
maybe a couple of helicopters when I tell it to Chloe and Victoria.'
'Don't put in too many battles,' advised Grandad. 'They're not six
either, not yet.' 'When I grow up I think I'll become a charcoal burner,
if I can find a dragon to do the work. What is a charcoal burner,
Grandad?' 'That can be your next project. Look in the encyclopaedia and
go to the the library and do some research. Then you can write me a
report.' 'I think I'll become a footballer,' said Jake.
by Eric Sturmey