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Norma C Plummer Stories

                            ... some things are just too much?

Stretch limousines, and even pianos may come under this category.

At a classical concert I once saw and heard the newest, shiniest, most gleaming grand piano ever encountered. It was almost still humming from the final tuning at the assembly workshop.

How shiny was it? The piano shone so much in its ebony splendour, that the designer should have equipped it with bumpers so that it would not become scratched.

After the brilliant piano concerto had been performed on it, I'm sure the piano builders drove it back to the shop for its 5,000-note checkup.

Then there are stretch limousines or limos, which come in mainly black or white to stay within good taste. By having an automobile already long made even longer, they reach the peak of being ostentatious. You see, past a certain point the dignified manages to tip over into the ridiculous.

Strict pedestrians never let on they notice stretch limos, in order to limit the satisfaction of those riding somewhere behind that tinted glass. Of course it may be the chauffeur is merely taking the dog out with him to buy a newspaper.

When limos are poorly stretched the rubber bands must be placed under great stress, and then, when called upon to brake suddenly, they come to a shuddering stop. One almost expects to see the car has developed a hump in the middle of the roof.

  by Norma C Plummer Hamilton Canada

  From the Published Book Looking Through a Different Knothole