Norma C Plummer
Oddities
from A to Z
A
Aging
Aging you say? Yes, aging, and no cringing please! Overheard in a
department store among the Christmas decorations: ‘I wouldn’t invest in
one of those – how many more times would I put up a tree, when I’m 72?’
Or, how about the person who considers what her heirs might prefer when
choosing to have new wallpaper.
That sort of thinking is on the downward slope. Who knows how long we
have? So much to be achieved yet, so little learned, so much more to be
appreciated.
Put up two trees if you want to, without carving your initials on their
trunks. Put fabric instead of paper on your walls, if you feel like it!
They’ll at least remember you for that.
Age is all in the mind – just a number – even in times of poor health.
Art
‘We need art to live fully and to grow healthy. Without it we are dry
husks drifting aimlessly on every ill wind, our futures are without
promise, and our present without grace.’
Maya Angelou
B
BELLOC, HILAIRE (1870-1953) A writer of great versatility. In his essays
Belloc could write in a witty style. For instance, he compares his
errors almost as companions.
At one side his follies; the other side his his sins. He even suggests
that they be given names and numbers. So he talks to them, and suggests
they have a chat about how matters stand.
He may become delightfully quirky when he addresses a special sin by
saying: ‘Good morning Sin No. 367. Remember me to all the little sins.’
C
‘The Come-outers’
When society becomes more and more enamoured with sensuality and
violence, there are always a few people who cut loose from the crowd.
(What you like is how you will turn out to be.)
This minority may ponder about the direction they wish to take in life,
and that direction may not be along the popular path. Some may separate
from the crowd as individuals; while some may join a group of life
pilgrims, who aim for simple living and high principles.
D
DINING: Now Dr Samuel Johnson of dictionary fame was a true trencherman.
He could really tuck into his vittles. He once remarked: ‘This was a
good dinner enough to be sure, but it was not a dinner to ask a man to.’
On another occasion he praised the cook by saying:’Sir, we could not
have had a better dinner had there been a Synod of cooks.’
E
ENGLISH (As she is written): So many signs of instructions or warnings
contain an error in them somewhere. The English language enjoys tripping
us up.
Here is excellent signage, composed by some unknown civil servant. (May
his career increase!)
‘Quiet zone between 8 pm and 8 am which includes persistent yelling,
shouting, hooting, whistling, or singing, operation of electronic
devices, including radios.’
That covers just about everything except yodelling, and loud shirts. The
words ‘persistent’ and ‘hooting’ were most effective.
F
FIREMEN: A fireman’s job is never quite done.
Due to a fire in a boarding-house one winter night, an elderly lady had
to be carried down a ladder to safety by a fireman, bedspread and all.
She was ever so grateful to him, but had to admit her feet were rather
cold. So her valiant rescuer took off his boots, and gave her his big
blue socks.
Ah, she was pleased at that, and her eyes sparkled as she wore them.
G
GLASS – STAINED: At the turn of the 19th century prosperous merchants
liked to build elaborate residences for themselves, including stained
glass windows depicting classical secular designs.
When one of these large homes was sold to be converted into separate
apartments, the new owner who had religious scruples and believing the
figures in the windows might be saints, left them as they were. So the
first new tenant enjoyed a stained glass window inside her closet.
H
HEAVEN: From a parson’s sermon came this illustration about a person who
died and visited hell.
They found the place more beautiful than expected. The people were
seated at a fine feast, and would have been happy, except that their
arms had no elbows with which to bring the food to their mouths.
However, when heaven was visited, they found the same situation – a
beautiful place, a fine feast, and people seated ready, but again with
no elbows – except that here the people were feeding each other!
I
INSOMNIA: In one of the books by Josephine Tey comes a remedy of sorts
for insomnia.
One of her characters believed that pretending to himself that he had to
stay awake, so that by this means of reverse psychology he would want to
go to sleep.
J
JIM JAMS: With the jim jams one could feel nervous, or just have the
jitters.
K
THE BOOK OF KELLS: Imagine monks of Ireland or Northern Britain,
schooled in Latin and skilled in calligraphy, spending their lives bent
over their work in a Medieval scriptorium. Their task would be to copy
the text for the Book of Kells, one of the most amazing feats of
dedication, which for the most part has survived through misfortune and
neglect.
The script would have been carefully planned to allow room for the
addition of the artists’ decoration, or illumination. The most
astounding display of artistry were the full pages of design preceding
these Books of the four Evangelists. Their symbolism now eludes us in
its strangeness, but the colourful, minute intricacies linking the
designs into a bewildering maze, speaks of an age where this devotion to
their chosen endeavour, almost seemed intended for angels to be
ascending and descenting with each completed page as an offering to
Highest Heaven.
(Trinity College, Dublin)
L
LIGHT: Just observing how the sun backlights some scarlet geraniums, so
that they blaze even more brightly, is one of life’s small surprises.
Lord Dunsany cleverly describes light suddenly disappearing, and so
blotting out a spectacular display of mountain scenery: ‘went out – like
an angel in full discourse suddenly sleeping in the midst of his psalm.’
M
MUSIC FROM SHIPS: Crews from nine ships wintered in the Port of Montreal
one year were eager to co-operate with two Newfoundland composers Paul
Steffler and Don Wherry.
To the tune of ‘Ballycatter and Growlers’, ie ice that forms on rocks,
and pieces of icebergs, they tooted their horns of various tones on
exact cues for ten minutes.
Church bells and a train whistle were added in for ornamentation. And so
the whimsical music broke the monotony of the ship caretakers, and
startled the citizens of Montreal.
N
NONSENSE: Nonsense can be just something that gives amusement from a
glimpse of hockey players on their skates, grinning from ear to ear, as
they are towed around the ice behind a Zamboni. One hand of each player
is holding onto the tow rope, while the other hand waves to the crowd,
like water skiers skimming over a lake.
(A Zamboni is a large machine, driven by a person, which is designed to
clear the ice for large arenas.)
O
ORGANS, PIPE: Pipe organ music can be exciting, especially if all things
come together, nearing perfection – player, music, and instrument.
This occurred one evening in a recital, when the flute stops, clear and
sweet, chased one another like squirrels around a tree trunk. At another
place in the programme the deep, rich pedal stops sounded like bears
dancing on hot coals.
P
PISA, TOWER: So far as we know the Tower of Pisa is still standing,
though leaning over dangerously to hear what the engineers plan to do
next in order to save it from falling. A tourist a number of years ago
claimed to have been allowed to climb the Tower, only to be shocked by
the unexpected sound of its bells, reverberating in a confined space
against the marble walls.
Well we have to understand the Tower of Pisa is a free-standing
campanile, or bell tower for the adjacent cathedral.
Q
QUINCUNX – meaning five objects, especially trees at the corners and
centre of a square or rectangle; or five petals. This rare word might
come in handy, if you happened to find this artistic arrangement set out
in an ornamental garden. You could explain to your host –‘What a fine
example of quincunx you have here!’
Now it often happens that once such an obscure word is encountered, it
reappears soon after. You would almost believe that these quincunxes
notify other quincunxes that the jig is up – come out of hiding!
Sure enough, six days after hearing about the word it showed up in a
poem, ‘St Louis’ by Amy Lowell: ‘The orchards are little quincunxes of
Noah’s Ark trees.’
R
RETREATS: Leonard Woolf, Virginia Woolf’s husband, confessed that every
once in a while he had a deep longing for some solitude, so that he
wished to shut himself away from anyone for several days at a time.
He claimed that even if Shakespeare or Montaigne were to knock on his
door, he would pretend to be out.
S
SANTA CLAUS: If you have ever come upon a series of published letters
written to Santa Claus, they will show how unselfish children can be.
They ask Santa to remember the poor. Besides the gifts asked for the
current Christmas, they often thank Santa for what was received last
year. Then too they ask about Santa’s health, and his reindeer.
T
TEDDY BEARS: Occasionally we need practical comfort to keep away the
black fog that threatens to overwhelm our spirits.
Overheard at a charity rummage sale: ‘I’m not letting my bear go. I’m
buying him back!’ said the grown man emphatically.
And he jammed a small stuffed bear into his pocket.
U
UTRILLO: Utrillo had a fascination for painting French streetscapes,
sometimes rather bleak, yet worthy of capturing our attention. As in his
painting titled ‘The House of Berlioz’ two elderly Ladies appear as
points of interest. These pedestrians turn up in other canvases by
Utrillo, perhaps in front of a church, or trotting together down the
middle of a side street. Sometimes their small figures are bulbous in
shape, and their hats worn low on their heads.
The mystery remains as to whether these were Utrillo’s favourite
aunties, or just dream characters. One text points out that these
recurring figures were always depicted retreating, which lends a sense
of loneliness to the scene.
V
VIRTUE: Virtue, or goodness is an unfashionable word these days. Virtue
has been given a bad name as being dull, instead of scintillating, as
humourless instead of full of life. These negative views have become
accepted, probably because virtue also demands sacrifice and
responsibility, rather than self-indulgence.
To view virtue as an entity unto itself, rather than only the absence of
vice, brings it closer to reality, and makes of it a springboard to
positive living.
W
WAITE, TERRY in his book ‘Taken on Trust,’ written after release from
his long, cruel captivity, quotes some lines written on a wall by a
victim of Hitler’s persecution – faith even at the worst of times:
I believe in the sun
Even when it is not shining.
I believe in love,
Where feeling is not.
I believe in God,
Even if He is silent.
X
X – NO TRESPASSING
Since there was no access to the area around the canal, I settled for a
parking spot viewing Lake Ontario. Rather a quiet pastime you say Well!
Overhead: One helicopter, a small flock of geese coming in for a
landing, and a couple of gulls.
On land: Two joggers, three bicyclists, one of which was towing a small
child, and a mother and her boy strolling the beach.
On water: Three water scooters flying about at high speeds – zap, zap,
zap; a large cruiser towing a small red pontoon with a person aboard –
flap, flap, flap!
And you say life’s not exciting.
Y
YOUTH VERSUS AGE: As the old-timer declared, ‘Things ain’t like they
yurst to be.’
But to those presently at the centre of today’s world, life is exciting,
and they are eager to meet its new challenges.
For them, this age is best.
Z
ZIMBELSTERN: Heard any good zimbelsterns lately? You might find one in
Jacobskirche in Hamburg, Germany. Two others are known to exist in
Canadian cities.
Zimbelsterns are a novelty organ stop with which Bach was familiar. This
organ stop may be described as a star hung with small bells, and sounded
by a current of air, producing a pretty, tinkling clatter. Nice touch
after a wedding ceremony.
by Norma C Plummer