Norma C Plummer
READING SNACKS Three
OPEN SESAME!
Arriving too early, I wait for the Gift Store to open. At 10:00 a.m. the
clerk unlocks the door, and drags out a large planter of pink blossoms,
which blocks the doorway. She proceeds to carefully deadhead the
flowers, and continues to fuss.
Finally, I say as patiently as possible, ‘I believe I'm the customer for
whom you're preparing.’
You might find that phrase useful sometime. The idea should be included
in the Clerks' Bible, along with, ‘Thou shalt not ignore your customer,
even if smoke is pouring from the back room, or the safe is being
robbed.’
HANG IN THERE!
On a tour of churches we found one where the organ and choir loft were
located in the back gallery. Desiring to add more ranks to the organ in
this limited space, someone suggested suspending the new case from the
ceiling by cables.
‘What an original ideal,’ was the response. And so it was, until the
organ tuner came along to lean his ladder against it.
POOR-LOST-SOUL
The ‘Poor-Lost-Soul’ is wheeled up to a table for her meal.
‘Is this where I eat,’ she asks?
‘Yes,’ says the server, as she hurries away to the kitchen.
Meanwhile ‘Poor-Lost-Soul’ explores the table setting. ‘Ah ... salt and
pepper ...’
‘Hm, and what's this’’ she muses? And so it was the mustard's first
chance to act as a stand-in for hand lotion.
SAVE YOUR CELL PHONE - JUST SHOUT!
It was convention time, and a session just finished at a Basilica. The
fine edifice had a long flight of steps leading to the main doors, with
elaborate stone-work on each side.
The man in charge of Convention Transportation was stranded, as even his
own bus had left without him.
By using his cell phone he was able to contact the Chairman, and ask for
a ride.
‘Where are you’’ asked the Chairman?
‘I'm at the top of the Basilica steps,’ he replied. ‘Where are you?’
‘I'm at the bottom.’
TRIPLE-SPLIT PERSONALITY?
Just having returned from entertaining at a large picnic in the park,
the young fellow was excited to tell about his success in working with
his puppets.
He said he had been able to handle his green dragon character in one
hand, and his black-and-white cow character in the other, including some
of his own personality as well.
Before he went home (with the amusing excuse that probably he should
feed his dragon before it took a bite out of his cow), he made this odd
comment:
‘Did you know that people with split personalities only get one side of
their hair cut at a time?’ (So far his hair checked out as normal.)
TIME FOR TWITTERING
Walking along the street one day I passed a dense fir bush, in which a
large number of sparrows could be heard, but not seen. They seemed to be
holding one of their twittering conventions.
Sparrows meet for these special bird gatherings on occasion without
bothering to post any notices about time or place. Their twitterings go
on without a break, without benefit of chairperson or secretary. Likely
these sessions continue until time for their twittering vespers.
One sparrow, however, remained away from the bush, perhaps as a lookout.
This bird sang a little ditty for me, and was not frightened away.
I can't account for my heart saying, ‘God is in the sparrow’. Maybe I
needed to believe it was so.
One would think that I am for the birds, when I also talk about meeting
a single pigeon that rounded the corner of a building, also on foot. It
appeared fearless, as we passed at close range; just one pedestrian to
another. I said ‘Hello’ and passed along on my way. Strange encounter.
PUPPETS JUST FOR FUN
A simple cone-shaped puppet used to entertain a long term care patient
took my fancy. A volunteer was operating this one, which had a stick
jutting out from the point of the cone, that could be poked up to
release a funny puppet head at the top, as a surprise.
On my search for puppets I came across one which was the head of a lion,
called Leo of course. While your hand supported the head, your fingers
could move its mouth to match spoken words, in whatever manner lions
might be expected to converse, using a low tone of voice. This would be
the first step toward learning to synchronise your words with the
movement of the puppet’s mouth. To work in front of a mirror is the
system, until, after lots of practice over time, this becomes automatic.
The puppet may be held at a height that will help cover up the fact that
the puppeteer is doing the actual talking.
Another character was found named Perky Ducky. He came with a wide
yellow beak, big eyes, and a green plush body which included a pair of
short arms and yellow flippers. With ones hand inside Perky, two fingers
could be used to move his arms, and two more to work his wide beak. He
was given a squawking sort of voice, and it was tempting to allow him to
‘quack up’. His conversation centred on his life on the Avon River in
Stratford among other feathered swimmers, including the regal swans.
Having established these two characters, my puppet project was expanded
to include a more professional human figure. Uncle Louie came as a fully
dressed old chap with soft white hair and moustache, and a kindly
expression. His outfit consisted of plaid pants, green top, and real
slippers with zippers. These slippers had a bad habit of slipping off,
to the embarrassment of us both.
On one occasion, when the visiting Red Hat Ladies Society were to be
present, Uncle Louie was asked to welcome them. I had made a little red
hat for him, tied on with ribbons. Well as we came on the scene, the hat
fell off onto the floor. At the same time his shoes came off, taking his
socks with them. This was not intended as part of the entertainment, but
everyone had a hearty laugh.
After that episode, Uncle Louie would have no more of this ‘Lose Your
Shoes and Socks Burlesque’, and I sewed them firmly onto his legs
without benefit of anaesthetic.
Uncle Louie seems popular with his audiences. (Wait a moment! Where does
his personality come from? I’m the amateur puppeteer here, or am I? Be
careful not to lose yourself in these performances.)
Before you spend all your extra money on puppets, remember they do not
come with their own scripts. You may open your programme with a little
preliminary chat together to warm up your audience. Now what? You’ll
need some episodes or short stories, simple stories to be memorized.
Research will be likely required unless you would rather compose your
own stories. Those without conversation are best, but with
straightforward plots, and suitable mostly for children.
A point to remember! A puppet is not a doll or a toy, so be the only
handler, in order to keep you investment clean, fresh, and in one piece.
Pack it carefully in its carrying case for transport. Bring out your
puppet for use at a performance, out of sight. It is supposed to
represent a living object when at work.
Even amateur puppeteers sometimes work two puppets at a time. The pair I
saw once was a crocodile with a cow. This tends to keep a person very
busy, as I found out. The trickiest thing about using two at once is
fitting them first onto your hands, and then trying to open a door. Also
the problem arises of keeping track of three voices, one for each puppet
and your own. We are bordering on the split personality here. So now you
have met most of the likely problems. But it is good fun!
Oh, wait! Meet Puppet Miranda, who has wild, curly red hair. She speaks
in a childish voice as a little girl would. Uncle Louie takes an
avuncular interest in her welfare.
Oh, oh! That must be Uncle Louie now, muttering about getting a new
outfit.
NOTHING LIKE A ‘RED HAT’
Our next meeting was to be special. Some of the ‘RED HAT LADIES’ had
been invited. Five jolly ladies arrived to represent their group. Their
aim is to provide an easy, undemanding group for ladies 60 years of age
or over. They meet to relax and enjoy themselves.
So on the day planned the ladies came wearing their pretty red hats.
These were not just ordinary street hats, but very elegant, large
brimmed ones.
My puppet, Uncle Louie, an affable old chap, had been asked to make them
welcome. With this in mind I rigged up a red hat for him to wear. It was
based on the lid of a small circular tin, covered in red material with
red ribbons attached at each side for ties. (He looked like an aged
cadet in it.)
We soon discovered that the ties came loose, and Louie’s lack of a solid
chin made the connection even weaker. However, I just hoped we could
make a safe trip from chair to the front without it dropping off. But
the law of gravity remained in force, and not only did Uncle Louie’s hat
drop off, but his shoes as well. They were designed for a normal human
foot, not a foot without a proper heal. And worse still, his socks came
off along with his shoes. I was kept busy picking up the discards before
he could say his welcome. For awhile all that Uncle Louie could stammer
was: ‘I’m so .... so embarrassed .... so embarrassed.’ Finally he
blurted out, that he welcomed the RED HAT LADIES to our church with the
red roof, and the warm heart. Their applause was enthusiastic, perhaps
more for his entertaining mishaps than for his actual words.
We relaxed at home, once that troublesome hat had been tossed into the
garbage. With many an extra stitch his shoes and socks are now sewn on
snugly, and will never come loose again.
Uncle Louie sometimes worries whether his moustache might come off, but
so far so good. He seemed to be rather nervous - similar perhaps to his
boss, the puppeteer.
A HOSPITAL ROOM AT NIGHT
The last pill given; lights on low; can't wait to drop off to sleep from
the fixed position on my back.
2:00 a.m. Roommate restless; starts the preliminary scenario for getting
out of bed, beginning with a light sigh, heavy sigh, low moan, muffled
cry, and the sound of a heavy body moving off.
Good! She made it safely. Now, wait for the return trip. What's taking
her so long?
Oh well, here comes the return trip, handled in reverse - muffled eek,
soft moan, heavy sigh, light sigh, and quiet. Well not quite. I'm sure
she has a tool box, in which she keeps rattling about, in search of a
screw driver - or is it a lipstick?
Now that leaves only the mystery staff, who frequent the storage room
next door. The hinges there creak in an eerie sort of way. Then after a
suitable pause, that door thumps shut, and the unseen person disappears,
never passing our doorway. Before relaxing I wonder what I chose for
breakfast two days ago for this morning. Hope it will appeal to me now.
Decide to spend some night life on the edge of the bed, watching the
rows on rows of street lights. Just consider all those city folk fast
asleep without their tool boxes.
NO PRAYING, PLEASE!
You may recall some of the skillful, heart-warming paintings by Norman
Rockwell, which appeared on the covers of The Saturday Evening Post for
many years. Among the most popular covers was 'Saying Grace'. In it
Rockwell captured the moment of two travellers, a small boy and his
grandmother, thanking God for their food before a meal in a dingy
restaurant. Two young men at the far side of the table looked on in
surprise, mixed with respect. That was in 1951! Would the management and
patrons feel quite the same today?
An interesting occasion of a person in trouble for praying in public was
Christopher Smart. Dr. Samuel Johnson often befriended Smart by
supplying him with essays for a monthly publication called 'The
Universal Visitor'.
Firmly and sensibly Dr. Johnson discussed the situation:-
My poor friend Smart showed the disturbance of his mind by falling upon
his knees, and saying his prayers in the street, or in any other unusual
place. Now although, rationally speaking, it is greater madness not to
pray at all, than to pray as Smart did, I am afraid there are so many
who do not pray, that their understanding is not called in question.
At times Smart was confined to a sanatorium, but Johnson claimed: 'His
infirmities are not noxious to society, I would as lief pray with Kit
Smart as any one else.'
In spite of his troubled life, Christopher Smart's ecstatic lines live
on in the text of the choral work 'Rejoice in the Lamb', with music
composed by Benjamin Britten. Christopher Smart's prayers were of this
order:
'For the nets come down from the eyes of the Lord to fish up men to
their salvation.'
'For the Lord made a Nosegay in the meadow with his disciples and
preached upon the lily.'
More recently, we have the Wizard of Id comic strip by Parker,
reflecting the view of society on public praying. There The Little King
is judging the man brought before him for praying in the streets. The
following blocks of comic strip show the arrested man, released and
strolling down the street past massage parlours, taverns and so on. To
one of their signs already has been added 'No Praying'.
Yet we still have our religious freedom, a gift to be cherished, Norman
Rockwell also did a painting called 'Freedom of Worship' (1943) - a
collage of worshippers of various faiths, which included the legend
'EACH ACCORDING TO THE DICTATES OF HIS OWN CONSCIENCE'. So let us all
pray, while we may.
By Norma C. Plummer