Stories
Aparna Mukhedkar
Condemned
‘I cannot believe I am watching this rubbish!’ Mira said in an
irritating voice. ‘What is the name of this movie?’ she asked Ricky, who
sat riveted to the action on the screen at the Santikos Palladium.
‘Condemned,’ he said in a whisper. ‘Shush. Now let me watch. This guy is
a WWF wrestler. An Arnie wanna-be.’
‘Who?’ Mira asked, her voice trembling with incredulity.
‘Arnie! Arnold Schwazzenegger! The Governator,’ Ricky replied back.
‘I am leaving,’ Mira said and picked up her red bag which was on the
empty seat next to her, wound her green scarf around her neck and
started to get up. Just then, the WWF wrestler broke the arm of the one
of the villains chasing him. He just wrested it off like it was made out
of rubber. A fiery explosion followed, another one of the villains was
killed. A couple sitting two rows before them got up and left.
‘OK! That’s it! I’m leaving,’ she said to Ricky again and pretended to
get up from her seat.
‘No, No,’ Ricky said in an urgent tone. ‘The fun’s yet to begin,’ he
said, his eyes on the screen.
‘Fun? Fun?’ Mira asked, her voice rising. ‘You call this murder and
mayhem fun? Your hero just tore off that poor girl’s leg. You call that
fun? I’m leaving. Now!’
‘What did you expect?’ he asked. ‘She was going to kill him. Now shush!
I want to finish seeing this movie.’
Mira’s jaw dropped and she could not believe the violent stunts she was
sitting through and Ricky was thoroughly enjoying all the gore on the
screen.
‘Check Google on your iphone and find out if this hero is acting in any
other movies,’ Ricky asked in a whisper? ‘I want to know this guy’s
name. He rocks!’
‘No way, my friend, my phone is for useful purposes,’ she said. ‘Plus,
we are supposed to switch off the phones. This is a movie theater,’ her
voiced tinged with sarcasm. Ricky just ignored her and continued to
watch.
Mira closed her eyes. A headache threatened and a fight was beyond
certain. Fiery explosions, gunfights and arm-to-arm combat lit up the
screen. Ricky even laughed uproariously on a few occasions.
‘Check him out!’ he urged. ‘Apparently, Arnie recommended him to the
director of this movie.’
‘Since when is he Arnie to you,’ she asked?
‘Since, I voted for him in California, honey,’ he said in a perky voice.
Mira fished out her phone and began to concentrate on something other
than the violence on the movie screen. She emailed her friends and
checked out the news on yahoo, her lips pursed into a thin line.
‘Why are you not watching,’ Ricky asked? ‘We’ve paid $7.50 to….’
‘Watch this travesty. I want my money back and my time too,’ Mira
snapped. ‘Let’s go! There are a million other things we could be doing
now, like shopping or eating dinner at Yia Yia Mary’s having
spanakopitas.
‘Just another half hour or so left,’ he said and proceeded to ignore
her.
The climax scene was being fought. The bad guys were being chased by the
good guys and were missing one another’s bullets by a hairs breath. The
hero WWF wrestler and the main villain were the only ones left to fight
it out. All others had been summarily vanquished. There was pin drop
silence on the screen and in the theatre.
Suddenly, Ricky’s phone rang. A shrill ringing sound erupted in the
theater eliciting a sharp, angry reaction from the rest of the audience
who heckled them loudly. Unfazed, Ricky answered on the third ring,
considering it was in his back pocket.
‘Hello,’ he said calmly. There was silence for a few minutes.
‘Whatever,’ he muttered and shut the phone off.
‘It was the Home Team guys wanting to know if 10am tomorrow was a good
time for pest extermination.’